It’s hard living as many lives as I do, but it gets easier over time. I start off the day by living off the life of a student at Kennedy who’s happy with everything in his life for my mother, so she has no reason to worry about my at all. Once I get on the bus I live out the life of someone who’s regret the lack of sleep they’ve gotten the past few years, barely able to stay awake. And then I’m at the school, where I live the life of someone who’s faking a smile because the others are faking a smile and nobody really wants to talk about everything that’s gone wrong for fear of breaking everything. All while I’m living out the life of a perfect friend who can provide advice to a distant online friend who’s nearly slain themselves in a burst of depression before. And at the end of the day I live the life of someone who pretends they have a damn clue how to do the assignments after school they were given. Finally, I get to live the life of someone who finally gets a chance to relax after a long day, by themselves. It’s a hard life.
Artist's Statement:
(Yes, I'm aware there isn't a photo. I couldn't get one to the point that I liked it.)
One day I just sat down and realized just how many people think I'm a totally different person than what they think I am.
I've probably learned more in the last several weeks then I had over the last few years, just because there's no other time I've been taught the things I’ve learned now. But it wasn't exactly teaching, I've learned all these things myself a while back but didn't know what I had learned until now. And even now, some of the ideas that I picked up weren't ideas that seemed accurate in my eyes. The iceberg model was a great tool for most, but for me the concept totally wooshed right over my head. It just didn't seem to work in my eyes, how could so much of the brain be dull?
From the limited understanding I was able to get out of it, it basically splits the brain into three different pieces that function some consciously, some sub-consciously. The idea behind them is that some parts process information while others process other pieces, and it allows the brain to handle amounts of incoming stimulus that would fry a computer in seconds. Although different people have different ideas over what each part does, it's universally accepted that there are three parts.
That's something I can't wrap my head around, how something as vast as the mind could only be made out of three different parts of the brain. There's no way that every person follows that model, or else we would all be walking and talking like each other. The brain works differently for everyone, who says it will work the same in structure? The reason I have thought of this is because I've always felt torn in two when making an internal decision, like two equal forces tugging on each other. Neither side wins, and I end up making a bad decision just to make a decision in time. It's just me, and somehow it's gotten me this far, so far.
i really like your flash fiction, the idea of many lives can relate to me in some ways.
ReplyDeleteYour flash fiction is really relatable. I can easily identify with living different lives around other people, and not letting them down. It got me thinking about how it is true in my life. While reading your piece I got this sense of passion for this topic, it really grabbed my attention as a reader.
ReplyDeleteI like how you mention that some of the things you've learned in class weren't really "learned in class" but rather a labeled concept of something you've taught yourself. I like this because I can relate to how things we learn in class are really just labels that people who thought they were smart gave to things we already know.
ReplyDeleteI think living a "double life" is something a lot of people do in order to mask their emotions. sometimes i catch myself doing this too, forcing a smile so everything thinks im just fine, but when i get home i'm lethargic because i've exhausted myself pretending to be happy even if i wasn't
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